It’s been some time since I was a Christmas punk. I was a whiner and a complete brat in my formative years, a true tinsel-time terror. I wanted this, that or whatever cheap plastic toy made in China. My list was filled with toys I’d end up breaking within a week (I played hard, don’t judge) and I always wanted more. Luckily, I have matured over the years and I’m no longer a whiny brat. (If I saw “kid” me, I would full force dropkick little me in the face). Thus with being a big boy now, my list has decreased to, like, some boots and a new phone. But in truth, it’s all I need. When we were kids, more equaled better, definitely quantity over quality.
When I was 14 or 15, I wanted video games and a couple of toys but most certainly not the absurd amount I once clamored for as a tiny loser. As the years went on, I mostly wanted clothes and adult stuff. Now that I’m a young strapping 18-year-old, I want very little. Which is good; I have enough things in my life that asking my parents for lots of things seems completely juvenile (I cannot stress enough how fast I would uppercut lil’ Eric) I feel the list evolves with everyone because as we are, unfortunately, destined to age, and as we do, our tastes and wants mature.
As per usual, I asked some of the fellow souls trapped in educational purgatory known as HHS what their favorite all-time holiday gifts were. Junior Sarah Powers had an interesting fave in that it was only part of the whole gift. “There was a cow toy on a bike, and I saw the cow toy and went, ‘AHHH, A COW TOY!’ and my parents wanted me to be happy about the bike but I wasn’t.” (I then led her to a padded room with her cow toy.)
Senior Nick Ricciarelli’s favorite gift was his Xbox when he was a young lad. “Yeah, I went pretty crazy for that.”
Senior Maya Collins’ favorite was the stuffed Minnie Mouse doll she got when she was three. She said she carried around for years and I suspect it’s still in her backpack.
My favorite response came from the mad chemist himself, Kenneth Decie. As I barged into the classroom to ask him this question, I saw that nothing had changed since I was in his class last year. The familiar smell of sulfuric acid, lithium, and red phosphorus wafted through the air. Anyway, when I asked him what gift stuck out in his mind, Mr. Decie said it was when he received the ultrasound of his son. It took me a while to mop up all the tears from the floor because that was a beautiful response. Well played, Ken, well played.