By Leah Dillon, ’24

Staff Writer

Perhaps you’ve heard of her. Maybe you haven’t. Breaking records in her native country of Iceland, and eventually carving a niche for herself in the worldwide cultural zeitgeist, there’s nobody in the music industry quite like Björk. From her unique merging of new musical styles, the deeply intimate themes embedded throughout her whole discography, to her vivacious and strange personality,  Björk presents the music industry with one of the most artistic performers in recent history.  

Björk Guðmundsdóttir first began her music career at the age of 11 by releasing a collection of traditional Icelandic folk songs. Soon after, she rose to prominence within Iceland as the lead singer of alternative rock band, The Sugarcubes, among other punk and post-punk bands that she performed in. During her time in The Sugarcubes, however, Björk became dissatisfied with the limits posed by the guitar, and began seeking out other instruments and other styles of music through which she could actualize her artistic vision. From classical piano to electronic trip-hop, the burgeoning artist immersed herself in as many genres and instruments as she could find. While The Sugarcubes continued to top charts in Iceland, Björk herself remained relatively unknown in Europe and the Americas for the duration of her early career. All the while, her thirst for new music to immerse herself in led to internal tensions within The Sugarcubes, which culminated in her decision to leave the group in pursuit of a solo career. Entering the ’90’s, Björk embarked on the beginning of a long and fruitful artistic journey, now uninhibited by the conventions of a single genre and able to express ideas that were wholly hers.

Her debut album, named simply Debut, yielded a few hit songs, notably, “Venus as a Boy” and “Human Behavior,” which prevail as some of the most popular songs in her discography. Only two years later, Post was released, truly launching Björk into the wider musical world. Her style, which combined the emergent genre of electronic music and the then-waning genre of classical orchestra, was distinct and easily recognizable. “Hyperballad,” a song hailing from the album Post, exhibited this unique blend of genres, layering her three-octave voice over an electronic beat and a wide array of orchestral instruments, from the trumpet to the violin to the bass and drums. Her music also ruminated on themes that were seldom discussed in the industry at large; “Hyperballad,” for example, frames itself as the story of a woman who lives on a mountain and spends her morning throwing small objects over the edge of a cliff, exploring ideas of suicidal ideation in a tender and sympathetic manner. “I imagine what my body would sound like, slamming against those rocks,” she sings, “and when it lands, will my eyes be closed or open?” The song ends with her returning to the arms of her lover, remarking that going through this ritual of throwing small objects allows her to be “safe again.” “Hyperballad” exhibits a level of vulnerability and raw, unfiltered emotion that is absent from most of the music industry, which favors more easily palatable songs for its top charts and radio stations. “Hyperballad” is far from the only vulnerable song Björk has created; her whole discography is laced with a sense of intimacy that reads like a diary entry, or as a conversation between friends. Through and through, Björk’s discography shines with her unique artistic voice and deep sensibilities. 

While her records sold, and her music gained popularity, much of her work was dismissed by critics as strange, with Björk herself being largely written off as some batty Icelandic lady. In a sense, that assessment wasn’t wrong. Every piece of her work blurs the lines between genres and breaks well-established musical conventions. Her lyrics can be viewed as strange, and many of her beats are discordant. Her music videos are equally unusual, with one of her videos, “Pagan Poetry,” being an explicit tape of her own body (albeit heavily distorted, and hard to recognize upon first viewing). Her manner of speaking is notably off kilter, a fact which many interviewers chose to hone in on, as opposed to the actual content of her music. Many of these interviews and videographers seem to have skewed their depictions of her in order to favor the popular perception that she was strange; one such report narrates a video of Björk attacking a reporter, choosing to gloss over the fact that this reporter had been harassing her and her son for four days, further cementing the impression of her being erratic and unpredictable. Other interviewers have asked her invasive and condescending questions about her personal life, seeming to regard her as a spectacle or some exotic animal. “Isn’t she cute?” one interviewer asks the audience after having asked Björk whether or not she was going to get angry (in reference to the video of her attacking the interviewer). Many reviews go so far as to describe Björk as some sort of an alien. But once you peel back the flashy layers of clothes and makeup and discordant instrumentals, the discerning listener knows that she’s quite the opposite; of all music that has been released, hers is some of the most authentically human. 

Björk’s unrivaled creativity prevails to this day: just this year, at the age of 57, she released a new album, Fossora. In it, Björk appeals to the increasingly disconnected nature of our society, using fungi and mushrooms as a metaphor for the unseen connections between people, and urging us, the listener, to “find a resonance where we do connect” in spite of our differences. In today’s especially polarizing society, her message rings as urgent, but optimistic. “Hope is a mussel that allows us to connect,” she sings. Hope is a theme that extends through all of her music, even in her darker songs (such as “Hyperballad” or “Victimhood”). Even her older music yields messages and themes that are cutting edge today; her earliest music still prevails as the music of the future.

Björk is not only a rare musician, having blended several genres into her own eclectic style and possessing stunning vocals, but a rare person; somebody who sees through the veil of accepted conventions, and who dares to break them. While much of what she presents to the world is likely a persona meant to further her artistic vision, her art still challenges everyday conventions with a fierce individuality, and encourages the listener to do the same. Every song she writes is embedded with her unique artistic voice, one which dares the listener to break convention too, to live a life uninhibited by restrictive conventions and the thoughts of others. Björk dares the listener to examine every part of themself, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the unorthodox, and to live it wholly and unabashedly. She urges us to have hope, to connect. Above all, Björk asks us to be human. An artist isn’t just somebody who makes music; this is what makes an artist.

Featured image: https://www.vulture.com/2022/10/bjork-fossora-album-guide.html

By Norah Kelley, ’24

Staff Writer

* Spoilers Ahead*

Everyone’s favorite outcast. Around since 1938, in her own creepy way, she has held the hearts of millions of people. The Addams Family, despite their strangeness, is seen as comforting and showcases the love in a family. The whole family is shown as doing typical things, but in a weird and creepy way. As a little girl, Wednesday Addams had some different habits from other girls her age. One of her favorite activities was pranking her brother in a not-so-normal way, doing things like putting him in an electric chair. Their relationship looks much different than the typical brother-sister relationship. 

The comics, TV shows, and movies all portray the same spooky family, but in the Netflix show, Wednesday, the audience focuses on the daughter of the family. She does not change her mysterious ways as she makes her way through the show. But instead of being the villain that the people in her school have made her out to be, she is the hero who saves Nevermore.  

Wednesday Addams is sent to Nevermore Academy, a school for outcasts with different powers, but she is still treated like an outsider. Along with the original characters that people have become familiar with, including Thing (the hand with a mind of its own), there is the introduction of new characters to form a connection with: Enid, a werewolf; Xavier, a psychic; Bianca, a siren; and Tyler, a normie, or so we think. 

Wednesday develops different relationships with all these characters, some good, some bad, and some deceiving. Many people who watched this show were shocked when the love interest, Tyler, turned out to be the monster (called a hyde) who was killing outcasts and normies around the town. Plot twist.  

From the first episode I watched, I was hooked. The way that Tim Burton directed this show, I felt as if I could connect with all the characters. This murder mystery story allowed the audience to figure out who was the killer (I figured it out before the reveal, while still getting invested in the friendships and relationships that Wednesday was developing). For someone who is not a huge fan of horror or creepy shows, I found this Netflix original had the right amount of spookiness that many audiences will find enjoyable. 

By Abbey Kinzel, ’23

Staff Writer

The opening of Showcase Cinema de Lux at Hanover Crossing was something my friends and I have been looking forward to since the closure of Patriot Cinemas in 2020 due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Waiting two years, thinking that we’d never have another movie theater in Hanover again, was tough. But the November opening of this new “deluxe” theater got me hyped. I was recently able to try it out with a viewing of Avatar: The Way of Water. I recommend going soon if you haven’t already.

When I entered the theater, it was smaller than I expected. It has eight auditoriums including one with a huge screen and reclining chairs. Concessions were good, you can’t quite mess up popcorn and candy. The soda fountain was cool; I was able to choose a vanilla Coke with different flavors. My dad got an Old Fashioned from the bar in the lobby, which he enjoyed.

Sitting down for 3 hours and 12 minutes for Avatar, with some snacks smuggled in from Market Basket, the experience was very good. Seats were comfy. I was relaxed and felt I could sit and watch another two-hour movie.

featured image: https://www.showcasecinemas.com/theater-info/showcase-cinema-de-lux-hanover-crossing

By Abbey Kinzel, ’23

Staff Writer

I’m sorry to say this but, James Cameron just can’t stop making money from his movies. First it was Titanic, and now it’s the Avatar series. It is beyond my comprehension how this man can make so many successful movies. If a ton of people watch one of his movies in theaters and don’t think it’s that good, the money is already in his pocket. But it’s hard not to watch his new movies; they either have a great story, great visuals or both.

Avatar (2009): So this was a thing that actually happened literally 30 minutes before watching the new Avatar. My dad asked if I had seen the first film in theaters. I don’t think it occurred to him that I would’ve been four years old. But anyway, this is a modern classic, with CGI that was absolutely spectacular for 2009. When I watched this when I was younger, it felt like something out of the future. I thought it was magical; if I had only seen a little of it, I might’ve mistaken it for a dream. When I watch it now, that feeling is still there. It’s hard not to say that it’s absolutely beautiful. The story is questionable yet compelling, since it projects Americans as always wanting to destroy something beautiful for their own benefit. The love story between the two main characters is intriguing and fun, and I somehow always find myself smiling when they are together since it feels very genuine. It sometimes feels like you are with the natives of the planet Pandora. It’s hard not to feel for the native people and connect with their culture. But there is one thing that doesn’t sit well with me. One of the main conflicts in the middle of the movie is when the main character Jake Sully has the task of safely relocating the native people before the military began to destroy their land. But Jake basically forgets to convince them to leave their big tree. It feels like they set him up to be revealed as a liar, t but it just doesn’t make a lot of sense. I mean, I can get that maybe Jake was hesitant about what he was going to say to the native people and how much their mega tree home means to them as a culture, but this twist makes him look bad. But since I don’t think anyone wants more spoilers, lets get to the score. This movie earned 82 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. After watching this again, I feel it is definitely better than the second movie. And it’s the highest grossing film of all time with $2.9 billion in profits.

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022): So my friend and I were supposed to go to the new Hanover movie theater to review it and watch the new Avatar movie. But my friend came down with COVID so my dad went with me instead. We were really rushed when we finally got to the theater to watch, and all I felt was tired, and my eyes hurt from probably not blinking because I didn’t want to miss a thing. But I can definitively say that it wasn’t as good as the first one – like most sequels. Since it is a fairly recent release and I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, I won’t say too much. This movie has a 79 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which is almost as high as the original. A lot of people who watched the movie thought the CGI was fine but not as mind-blowing as the first movie. The box office did rake in over $2 billion regardless. Meh, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish was still better.

Avatar: Literally any Upcoming Avatar Movie: Not a lot has been said about the upcoming movies except for the release date for each and a lot of rumors. There is a two-year gap between each movie, so it’ll take about six years for all of the movies to be released. Rumors include that they have already filmed scenes for the next movies before the child actors age too much, and that the fifth movie will be Jake Sully and his family going to Earth.

Featured image: https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/22/entertainment/avatar-way-of-water-2-billion/index.html

By Abbey Kinzel, ’23

Staff Writer

Friday the 13th is one of the classic horror movie franchises from the 1980s. Sean S. Cunningham’s original was a smash hit, making $59.8 million in the box office, which is $216.28 million today. Just like A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th has an “unbeatable killer” that proves to be beatable at the end of the movie. Almost every movie picks up where the last left off, with a new quality that makes the audience think that the killer, once again, cannot be stopped. This movie franchise has become a part of pop culture to the point where the generic killer is a guy in a hockey mask and kills people in a summer camp. The Friday the 13th movies are infamous in every way, shape and form. But over the life of the series, there have been jewels and there has been dirt. Honestly, like its friend Halloween, the franchise is slowly dying. Maybe it’s time to put the series to rest; a big break from making a movie almost every year may not be such a bad idea.

Friday the 13th (1980): This movie has become a classic in the genre of horror movies like Child’s Play and A Nightmare on Elm Street. Since CGI wasn’t invented yet, they had to use something called “practical effects.” That means for one scene ,the cast had to kill a real snake. But they had to be smart about some of the kills in this movie, like when an arrow goes through someone’s neck on camera. Some people who know the series but watch the first film all over again forget that the killer isn’t the same throughout the series. Most think that Jason has always been the killer, but the first film’s villain is his mom, Pamela. Thinking that her little son Jason drowned in the lake unsupervised, Pamela swears to kill every counselor at the camp to close it down. However she is decapitated, and for some reason the final girl rows a boat out onto the lake until morning. This has a 63 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and is the highest rated out of the 12 movies released so far.

Friday the 13th: Part II (1981): This one was a little worse than the first one, and by a little worse, I mean it earned a 29 percent according to Rotten Tomatoes. However, I think it’s cool that Pamela’s son, Jason, wasn’t dead and he comes back to get revenge for the death of his mom. He starts the film by tracking down and killing the final girl from the first installment. The final girl for this movie is a child psychology student. She defeats sack-head Jason with the power of child psychology and his mom’s sweater. We also get to see Jason’s shack, which is a small shack with all the victims from the movie with his mother’s head and sweater as an altar. The only disappointment was that Jason had a sack over his head and when his face was revealed it was more deformed than monstrous. It is an ok movie for a sequel.

Friday the 13th: Part III (1982): Ok so, I’m going to be honest with everyone for a hot minute. I haven’t watched Friday the 13th in quite awhile. So I completely forgot that this movie has a 3 in it for another reason, which is that it was filmed in 3D. Most fans know that this movie is the one with the cheesy gags to make the movie more “3D” including for some of the kills. This is also the movie where Jason gets his signature hockey mask. Some of the kills I found cool are a handstand kill, a harpoon kill, and someone getting his head squeezed between Jason’s hands. I know for a fact that two-thirds of those kills had some 3D element that makes them look kinda cheesy. The survivors’ big showdown with Jason in a barn goes a little overboard. So in order, they stab him, hang him from the ceiling and when he wasn’t dead they swung an ax in his head until he collapsed on the floor, not dead but defeated again. I mean, whatever gets you far away from that camp the fastest, then I guess…go off? Queen? This has a seven percent on Rotten Tomatoes and the lowest ranking movie to date of the series. Yes, it’s a fan favorite since the ax to the head made the signature missing piece in his hockey mask. But other than that, never do cheesy gags in your movie to make it “3D.”

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984): This one is a bit of an improvement from the third movie and it introduces Tommy Jarvis, who will appear in this film and the next two movies. But this movie title is “The Final Chapter” and if you could tell, it wasn’t the final chapter. This movie seems like now they can dial back the uncomfortable scenes and introduce a family, the Jarvis family. Some teens next door get killed by Jason, as does the mother of the Jarvis family. The rest of the Jarvis family is next on Jason’s hit list. Some guy named Rob that was with the Jarvis family, who was related to some girl from the second movie, dies hilariously by screaming “He’s killing me, he’s killing me!” And with the power of acting, Tommy stuns Jason long enough for his sister to knock off his mask and kill him with his own machete. This has a 24 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and a good balance of laughs and kills. My personal favorite was when Rob died, it reminded me of the audio clip, “Help! The killer is escaping! The killer is escaping! Help Me!” This was called the final chapter since this was supposed to be the last film, because Jason is successfully killed. So I guess it’s the final chapter of Jason’s killing spree as a mortal.

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985): Almost every fan hates this movie. Authorities bring a grown-up Tommy Jarvis to a mental camp, which also includes Jason’s grave. I don’t know who would bury him, let alone give him a gravestone made out of wood. Once someone gets killed by a man who isn’t Jason, he is arrested and a lot of people begin to die. Tommy is convinced that Jason came back from the dead, and tries to hunt him down and kill him again. However, it is just a copycat killer named Roy Burns, who snapped when his son was killed. And it’s a big mystery if Tommy became influenced by the ghostly apparition of the real Jason, to kill the final girl, Pam. This has an 18 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Nobody could really like this movie since it is literally Halloween 3 for Friday the 13th.

Friday the 13th: Jason Lives (1986): From this point onward for the series, Jason is a supernatural being. He will never be a mortal man-child anymore. If you couldn’t tell, Jason gets resurrected because Tommy digs up Jason’s grave and stabs him with a metal pole. That pole is struck by lightning and Jason comes back, and kills Tommy’s friend who is there against his will. We also meet a fourth wall -reaking grave digger. But all in all ,most of everything in this movie is more gore and more over-the-top kills. There are a lot of people who we don’t know who get killed for no reason because test audiences said they wanted more kills. But anyway, Jason is lured by Tommy into the lake when Tommy starts calling him mean names. Tommy manages to get a chain around Jason which is tied to a giant rock to make him sink to the bottom. It has a rating of 50 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, making it the 2nd highest-rated movie of the series. And we will never see Tommy Jarvis again, unless you watch the “Never Hike Alone” fan film with the actor that played Tommy in it. 

Friday the 13th: The New Blood (1988): Let’s just get this out of the way right now. I hate this movie. They introduce this girl who has telekinesis, and she got her powers by wishing her abusive dad would die. She uses her mind to make their dock collapse, killing him in the same lake where Jason sank to the bottom in the last film. I also hate this one because they had to dial down the gore and blood, making it the least gorey of the series. The main girl Tina goes to cry by the lake while thinking of her dad, and when she tries to use her powers to bring her dad back, she raises Jason instead. We get very cool shots of Jason’s back, his spine is just out in the open. A fan-favorite kill was when Jason took a girl in a sleeping bag, zipped her up and whacked her against a tree. The stunt man that played Jason, Kane Hodder, said that it is his favorite too. Throughout the movie, Tina and some guy named Nick wander around and learn more about Jason. Nick goes back to the teen party house where he came from and discovers some bodies. I think the production team didn’t know how to fill in the run time, so this movie is full of running around in the woods. Tina and Jason face off and I would like to add Jason has never gone up against someone with supernatural powers before, so he is like a bumbling idiot the whole time. Tina uses her powers to take Jason’s mask off and yet again he doesn’t look anything like he did in the previous movie. She starts beating the life out of Jason and, I kid you not, brings Jason to the dock and summons her dead dad to bring him back down to the bottom. Man, they were really stretching with this one. It was one of the most out-there scenes I have ever seen. This movie has 35 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. The only good thing that came from this movie was a new stuntman for Jason, Kane Hodder who was willing to get the living crap beat out of him, including holding 40 seconds of uncontrolled fire on his body, setting a record. He even stayed committed to the part when that very same fire gave him burn scars on his face and chest. That is what I call dedication.

Friday the 13th: Jason takes Manhattan (1989): This movie’s title says almost everything, Jason goes to Manhattan and kills some people along the way. This movie should be titled “Jason on a Boat” since he kills tons of people on a boat and spends such little time in Manhattan. Jason teleports now? I guess that’s cool? And the ghost of kid Jason checks in on the final girl every once in a while for no reason but to be there. Two teens in a very nice boat go over some power cable and somehow wake Jason up from his nap at the bottom of the lake, and Jason of course kills them. So we meet future victims on a new graduation cruise ship, and somehow, some way, Jason drifts from Crystal LAKE to some river or body of water that connects to New York. He hitches a ride on the cruise ship, which is so big it doesn’t deserve to be called a cruise ship, it’s like Jeff Bezos’ giant yacht. There is a boxing ring, a cafe, a disco floor, a sauna and plenty of room for the many kills. Once it hits the one- hour mark, the remaining members finally decide to abandon ship and row to some alleys in Vancouver. Some kid Julius decides to box Jason on a rooftop and Jason gets his shot at it and punches the dude’s head off. The one thing that is wrong with the big murder round-up to kill off the remaining characters is that there are just open barrels of sewage, just out there in the open waiting for someone like Jason to use to kill someone. And a random tidbit of information, in this movie the sewers flood with toxic waste every night at midnight, I call BS on that matter. After Jason gets his face splashed with toxic waste, he burns and is forced to take off his mask and again he looks nothing like himself in the last movie. Jason begins to melt, gets set on fire, and somehow gets reverted back to his kid form. This movie has an 11 percent on Rotten Tomatoes , and gave new meaning to the term “plothole.” It’s very bad and they couldn’t even afford to shoot in New York, except for that one shot of Jason in Times Square but that’s it.

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993): This is the movie where the production company switched from Paramount to New Line Studios, and the title says it all. Jason goes to hell, but he is only there for 10 minutes, because he becomes a spirit that can possess someone to kill. Speaking of kills, they are the best of the series and very gruesome. To begin, Jason gets surrounded by the FBI and is blown up. After he possesses someone, we find out that a waitress named Diana is Jason’s half-sister, who has never been mentioned before. A man newly possessed by Jason kills Diana and tells her baby daddy to protect her daughter Jessica. It turns out that Jason’s new bodies don’t last long, so he needs to transfer his soul to a family member. The possessed man tries to transfer his soul to Jessica multiple times and kills some people in a diner. A Jason creature comes out of some cop’s neck and enters Diana’s corpse. So now Jason is back to his normal form and is promptly stabbed in the chest by a magic dagger, which makes a lot of hands come out of the ground and literally drag him to hell. This movie was given a 16 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and was a mess. You could tell New Line Studios used a first-time director. Even though Jason didn’t take his mask off, we all would probably guess that he wouldn’t look anything like himself from the previous movie.

Jason X (2001): To be real for a minute, this spends most of the run time in space, and they are in the future. Keeping Jason in literal chains was the worst idea ever, the people keeping him like this are only interested in his regeneration properties. So it’s no surprise he breaks out and kills almost all of his captors. One girl traps Jason in a cryo fridge so future people can deal with him instead. A future team finds Jason and the woman frozen, so they take them back to their ship and blast off into space. It’s not a big surprise whenJason wakes up after being inspected by one of the girls, where we see his face for this movie. And in a shocking turn of events, he kinda looks like himself from the fourth movie. Finally a movie that remembers what Jason looks like! But anyway, after waking up he dunks the girl’s head in an open tank of liquid nitrogen, and smashes her head on the countertop. Fun fact: Mythbusters tested this to see if it would actually work; it didn’t. Jason kills a lot of people on the ship and is responsible for letting the spaceship crash through a space station — totally destroying, by the way, the size of a city. The final survivors get ready to kill Jason, and some guy upgrades his android to shoot the hell out of Jason. But as Jason lays on the floor dying,some nanobots come out nowhere to revive Jason. So now we get the dumbest name for Jason ever, he is now Uber Jason. Once Jason tracks down the survivors again, they boot-up the VR machine to trick Jason by making the setting a camp. He reenacts the sleeping bag kill three movies later. The survivors escape and the sergeant faces off with Jason as the ship explodes and then makes Jason burn in the atmosphere of a nearby planet. This movie has a 19 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and was definitely made just for a cash grab. Since almost every major horror movie franchise has made it to space, why not Jason? It’s not going to look good on the timeline for the series but who cares? They made money.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003): Freddy vs. Jason is a movie only for the fans of both franchises. This was teased at the end of Jason Goes to Hell, but fans would have to wait a decade for it. So it has to be better than the last few movies, right? This was an ok movie, it would have been better only if they didn’t use a stupid, overused flying through the air effect. The main characters have the flawless logic of “Freddy died by fire, Jason by water, how could we use this?” Yes, Freddy died by fire but Jason has some of his kills when he pops out of the water, so he isn’t defeated by water. The kids that live in the town where A Nightmare on Elm Street takes place, don’t  know about Freddy so he can’t kill them in their dreams. So he manipulates Jason to get out of hell, climb out, kill some kids and make some others think that Freddy is back and more powerful than ever. The characters are really crappy and it’s hard to watch them lead their lives. And there is a lot of Freddy trying to kill some teens in their dreams, so for some of them he sends Jason to kill them instead. Jason kills one of Freddy’s targets when he was about to kill her in her dream. Jason also kills some kids at a cornstalk rave. Freddy possesses a kid into drugging Jason to sleep, where Freddy and Jason face off in a boiler room. One of the girls goes into a dream and pulls Freddy out into the real world so Jason and Freddy can have a rematch. Freddy and Jason duke it out on the Crystal Lake dock with some gruesome hits to the both of them. The final girl decapitates Freddy as Jason falls unconscious into the lake. The final shot of the movie is Jason emerging from the lake with his machete in one hand and Freddy’s head in the other. And Freddy’s head winks at the camera, but I don’t care Jason won fair and square. This movie received 42 percent on Rotten Tomatoes; it was more fun and the score shows it too. 

Friday the 13th (2009): Around the year of 2009 there were a lot of reboots for famous horror movie franchises . They disregarded but also kept a lot of the lore from the previous movies, like killing Pamela in the first few minutes of the movie in a flashback. We also learn that Jason had a hard time swimming but he never drowned, that’s what everyone thought, and he watched his mom get decapitated. The characters are very cliche and add almost nothing to the movie unless it’s for a kill. Most of the kills are very gruesome and different from the other movies in the franchise. There is a weird subplot going on with this one guy Clay who is looking for his missing sister Whitney. Whitney was from the beginning of the movie with some of her friends, who were killed; she was kidnapped by Jason because she looks like his mom. The subplot and the main plot merge so everyone can fight off Jason. And I think they went more overkill than the third movie since they wrapped a chain around his neck, hung him, threw the chain into a woodchipper and, before he goes in, Whitney stabs Jason with his own machete. This movie has a 27 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, 17% less than the last movie, which goes to show not all reboots are good reboots. And if they made another movie it would probably be just as bad.

Untitled: Friday the 13th Coming Up (2023?): This movie is a complete mystery to both me and the superfans. Articles say a new Friday the 13th that was set to come out in the new year has been called off. This usually means that it was in the works but they ran out of budget, it wasn’t given the green light to start filming, or they couldn’t get the story right. Most superfans think the studio is telling them that there is no movie, and it’s just a big prank so they can surprise them in September with the trailer. Honestly I don’t quite know who to side with, and after so many years of bad sequels, I don’t really care that much either. This is a franchise that needs to be laid to rest, but, like Jason, has been hard to kill.

By Abbey Kinzel, ’23

Staff Writer

The Pirates of the Caribbean is a franchise that has been around for 14 years. Growing up with these movies gave me fond and traumatic memories, but when I rewatched them recently, all I felt was affection. When star Johnny Depp, embroiled in a nasty court case with Amber Heard, said he wouldn’t return to the franchise even if “Disney came to you with $300 million and a million alpacas,” fans were heartbroken. I thought it was sad but also for the best. It’s hard to say this, but the movies have been declining in ratings and popularity for a while now.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) This movie was only made to give lore to one of the rides at Disney World, and executives thought it would flop because there had been a decline in the genre of pirate movies. If you couldn’t tell, it was not a flop at all. “I think the first movie has always been the best,” said Madame Youngworth. This one was definitely fun to watch as a kid, but now that I watch it as an adult, I understand some of the concepts that I di:dn’t get when I was younger. Some little girl named Elizabeth and her dad’s ship sail past the wreckage of a pirate ship and spot a little boy named Will in the water. They rescue Will and Elizabeth finds a weird coin around Will’s neck, which she pockets. We flash forward to a grown-up Will and Elizabeth; Elizabeth is the daughter of the governor of Port Royal and Will is a blacksmith. Around this time, Captain Jack Sparrow docks in the harbor, saving Elizabeth from drowning. But her mysterious coin necklace sends out some vibrations into the water, bringing pirates into Port Royal to raid the place. They kidnap Elizabeth, thinking her last name is Turner, so the royal navy, Will and Jack set out to rescue her. This movie received an 80 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, the highest score of the franchise so far. Like most of the first movies in a franchise, this did absolutely great and became a classic.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006): When I was little I thought this was the best movie of all time. But I was an idiot. This was fine in the sense of a sequel. “It’s the one I liked the most,” said Ms. Mathisen. It’s a little hard to judge this movie critically, but I have to anyway. The plot is all over the place, somehow Will and Elizabeth are getting married but it’s rudely interrupted when they have to track down Jack because he went missing. Why, you ask? Well, Jack has a blood debt to some octopus man named Davey, so he hides in an indigenous people’s clan to wait out the debt collection. So when Will and Elizabeth find Jack, their main goal is to find the octopus man’s chest and stab his still beating heart to end his life and the debt. Oh, and the octopus man has a giant kraken that can swallow whole ships, so that’s cool. This movie has a 53 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, 27 percent less than the first movie. In my opinion this movie was ok, but for your opinion you might say something else, because you might have a different opinion than me, and that’s how opinions work, I think.Pirate

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007): This one was my absolute favorite Pirates of the Caribbean movie ever. It has that one scene, y’all know what scene I’m talking about, that one with two ships and a big ol’ whirlpool, that one. So after a long sequence of events, Jack, Will and Elizabeth get back together to finally fight the octopus man and his waterlogged crew. It’s very hard to continue this summary without spoilers, so I’m just going to wrap this up quickly. Elizabeth and Will get married on a boat while fighting the octopus man. After killing the octopus man, Will is cursed to be the captain of the octopus man’s ship forever. This movie received 44 percent on Rotten Tomatoe, but I love this movie, no matter what anyone says and no matter how many plot holes there may be.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011): It’s incredibly hard to watch this movie on my own since I would be bored and want to make fun of it with someone. But anyway, Jack Sparrow has an imposter. It’s interesting! For like 8 minutes. Then we learn that it’s just his ex. And his ex happens to be the daughter of the pirate Blackbeard. They basically make Jack find the Fountain of Youth against his will. Blackbeard weirdly enough has magic powers. And of course the brown-toothed British want to get their grubby mitts on the Fountain of Youth too. It’s so hard to get through this movie without someone with you to watch it. This movie has a 33 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. That’s all I have to say about it, on to the last movie. 

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tale (2017): Ok, let me be real with you for a second, this was my first movie as a kid that was absolutely atrocious. I didn’t know how bad a movie could be until I watched this. Both men that directed this movie had directed only a total of eight  films, so I guess that makes you qualified to direct a major franchise’s new movie. Two of the lead characters in the movie, besides Johnny Depp,  had just minor roles in big movies or been in bad movies/tv shows. According to Screen Rant, Jack Sparrow during the first movie would be around 38-39 years old, so in this movie he should be about 58 years old, which is surprising to say the least. Typical pirates around that time would live to their mid-30s; the oldest pirate to live was Captain William Kidd, who reached 54 years old, Jack Sparrow is living longer than any real-life pirate. But this is a fictional movie, so a lot of other things don’t make sense either. Jack is drunker than a college kid at a frat party. He and his crew are basically going bankrupt so Jack decides to trade his magical compass for a bottle of rum which awakens drowned ghost men. The men themselves say that he has finally given up the compass like he hasn’t before, Jack gives his compass away like candy on Halloween, so that’s a plot hole. Henry Turner, son of Elizabeth and Will, grew up with no daddy just like his father and is determined to break the curse on his father from the third movie. And this one girl named Carina who is way too into astrology because her dad left her a necklace and a book, so basically her quest is a scavenger hunt for her dad and Poseidon’s trident (which can break curses). So it’s no big surprise that Henry and Carina team up, and Jack and his crew are just their escorts. A fun thing to do to pass the time while watching this movie is to count how many times they say father. This movie received a 30 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, so if the executives for Pirates of the Caribbean do manage another installment -with or without star Johnny Depp – it’s probably going to get like a 21 percent.

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