It was a typical Sunday afternoon. I was just sitting on my bed when all of a sudden the sweet aroma of brownies wafted up to my room. I trudged down the stairs to see my mom pouring brownie mix into none other than the . . . waffle iron?

I don’t know about you, but I absolutely love waffles. I honestly might be obsessed with waffles. I just love everything about them from the shape to the taste. Anyway, it has lately come to my attention that people all over America — including my mom — are cooking more than just waffles in their waffle irons. (Search Google or Pinterest if you don’t believe me) Does that seem right to you? It is specifically called a “waffle iron,” so clearly its intended use is to make waffles and ONLY WAFFLES.

Okay, there are some things that are, by my standards, “semi-socially acceptable” to cook in a waffle iron:

• WAFFLES (obviously!)
• cinnamon rolls
• brownies
• French toast
• cookies
• cake
• paninis and sandwiches
• MAYBE a quesadilla (but that’s pushing it)

On the other hand, here are some things that I have read you can cook in a waffle iron that I do not condone whatsoever:

• omelets
• bacon
• pizza
• fried rice
• potatoes
• churros
• cornbread, banana bread or any other type of bread
• hash browns
• crab cakes
• corn dogs
• eggplant parmesan
• chicken parmesan
• french fries
• any form of pasta
• hamburgers or anything else containing meat

Okay, so let’s run through some specifics. I truly did enjoy the brownies that my mom made in the waffle iron. They were perfectly crispy on the outside with warm, soft, brownie on the inside. So go ahead and pour some brownie mix in a waffle iron! I support that! But let me tell you why I think basically everything else in a waffle iron is horribly wrong.

Let’s begin with meat. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK TO PUT MEAT IN A WAFFLE IRON??? Why would you ever want to make a waffle in the same iron that you’ve made chicken parmesan in? I like to think of waffles basically as a dessert for breakfast, and why would you want meat with a dessert?! Who wants a hamburger in the shape of a waffle?? Not me. It’s just un-American. Please don’t cook meat in a waffle iron.

And DO NOT even get me started on crab cakes and other seafood. No explanation necessary. I would rather put meat in a waffle iron than seafood and you KNOW how I feel about meat in a waffle iron.

Pasta. Let me just say the workers of Barilla and other pasta companies, along with pasta chefs everywhere, take time out of their precious days to make sure pasta is in a beautiful little shape. They shape all different pastas into all different shapes such as elbows, linguine, spaghetti, ziti, fettucinni, rotini, ravioli, etc. If people take their time making all these little pasta shapes… why would you turn it into the shape of a freaking waffle?!? I think we can all agree that the majority of Italian chefs wouldn’t be so happy to see people pressing ziti into a waffle iron. I hope nobody tells the Italian chefs that pizza is being put into wafffle shapes as well!

To end my article, I would like to advise that everybody go and make themselves a belgian waffle, just a NORMAL thing to cook in a waffle iron.