As the holiday season comes at us faster than reindeer jacked up on steroids and other controlled substances, I figured it was time to start naming off some of the movie classics and hidden gems of this jolly joyful season. Over the years I sadly have slacked off on my holiday viewership of anything  seasonally related, which makes me quite glum. Holiday movies bring spirit and a little life to our otherwise plain little town. There are the absolute classics like Rudolph, A Christmas Carol, and of course the family friendly, Die Hard. “Yippie Kai Yay mother fruitcake.” Such a classic line. There are also some lesser known films like Johnny Bravo Christmas and Christmas Oranges (that one sucks, don’t watch it).

So here’s Eric’s Totally Boss Christmas Movie list. Watch it or you’re as worthless as an elf who can’t make toys.

• Die Hard – This movie is the perfect embodiment of Christmas spirit, blasting away at terrorists on the day Christ was born with Bruce Willis kicking all sorts of eastern European butt. If that wouldn’t put a tear in ol’ Kevin Perry’s eye, I don’t know what would.
• Nightmare Before Christmas– More like “nightmare to animate,” amiright guyzz?? Ha ha ha. No, seriously, it’s a technical marvel and an incredible film as well. If you haven’t seen it, are you even human or?
• Johnny Bravo Christmas– I love Johnny Bravo because we have quite a lot in common. We’re both super ripped, like c’mon. We both have incredible hair, and we are both completely inept with speaking to females. But watching Johnny bumble through various locations is super entertaining and I suggest giving it a watch.
• Any South Park or Family Guy Christmas special- I don’t really need to explain why you should watch these. They’re inappropriate, brash, vulgar and amazing.
• Trading Spaces– Really this is just a good movie with a Christmas background but it has Eddie Murphy yelling at things and partying, and Dan Aykroyd worrying about money and stuff so that’s cool I think. (I’m weird, shut up!)
• Bad Santa– Billy Bob Thornton is a mall Santa who loves whiskey and keystones; let the comedy ensue.

Most of us probably know someone like Steven “Crash” Crashinsky: hates school, loves to party, considers himself a player. And in the spring of his senior year, Crash becomes a celebrity when he manages to stop a disturbed classmate from blowing up the school in a massacre styled on Columbine. His heroism sends his popularity skyrocketing (especially among the ladies) and lands him a lucrative book deal to tell his story. So during the last summer before going off to college, while he is determined to live it up with his friends, he begins to recount his story. Since he first met the school attacker, David Burnett, in elementary school, the story must start there.

Between chapters that detail Crash’s exploits that final summer, we learn how he met “Burn,” his sometimes friend/rival/enemy who earned the nickname after an explosive incident when they were young. We come to understand that Burn has been diagnosed bipolar, among other things. He is a certified genius, but also, at times, certifiably insane. We meet Roxanne, Burn’s older sister, who wields sarcasm like a weapon and delves into some dark places in her struggle to deal with her brother’s issues. And we learn about Crash’s own problems: struggles in school because of ADHD, emotional abuse from a father who thinks he’s lazy and worthless, and a reliance on weed and “redcups” to cope with stress. As Crash tells his story, we get a unique glimpse into the minds of teenagers who are learning disabled, dealing with mental illness, disaffected from their families and society, and distracted by the temptations of sex, drugs and alcohol.

Written in the irreverent voice of most modern teenagers, Crash and Burn is at times darkly funny, emotionally gripping and violently tense. The characters’ bluntness about their fondness for, um, blunts — and girls and parties — makes them realistic. The plot about the school attack is, unfortunately, not that hard to believe. And while Crash is the story’s hero and Burn its villain, neither fits their label quite so easily. I found myself shaking my head at Crash when he uses yet another girlfriend or lights another joint, but ready to defend him from his heartless father. Burn does terrible things leading up to the school attack, but I also understood the feelings of helplessness that led him to some of those actions.

The final showdown at the school is intense. As the narrator, Crash at one point tells readers that he’s getting to the good stuff: “If this was a movie, this would be the time to put on your 3-D glasses. Also, if you want to go to the bathroom or if you want a snack, get it now. I’ll wait.” He’s right that once you start that section of the story, you will want to read to the very end. Throughout the book, Crash teases of a secret that Burn whispered to him that ended the siege on the school. Finally, near the end, you learn the secret and, to me, it was devastating.

Crash and Burn is Michael Hassan’s first novel, and I highly recommend it. I know some readers will be turned off by the length of the book, just over 500 pages. Since the characters and story would greatly appeal to people who might normally not like to read, I do wish the author trimmed it down a little so those readers won’t be scared away. But I encourage you to give it a try. It is a riveting book — you’ll laugh and nod approval at some of Crash’s adventures; you’ll shake your head in sadness at other times. This is one of those books that draws you in and keeps a hold on you from the first page to the last.

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First a preface:
When I suggest that students read a book by Ellen Hopkins, their first reaction is often “No way! That book is huge!” And yes, many of her fiction novels are very thick, topping 300 or even 600 pages. But when I flip through the books and show students that they are written in free verse instead of long paragraphs, they perk up. There may be as few as 20 words on a page. That, they feel they can handle. And while I never want anyone to choose a book because it’s short, I sell Ellen Hopkins’ books this way because too many students would miss out on her great stories if they never cracked one open.

Now on to the review:
Impulse is the story of Tony, Vanessa and Connor, three teenagers who for different, devestating reasons try to end their lives. After their suicide attempts, they are sent to a treatment facility where they are supposed to work through their issues with therapists and family members. As you might imagine, the path to healing is not an easy one. The teens struggle to deal with their troubled past, less-than-ideal present and their uncertain future. The book alternates between the three teens’ voices, revealing in agonizing bits and pieces the heartache, abuse and fear that led them to this point. Despite their different journeys, the teens find a connection with each other that gives them hope that their lives will be better.

Unfortunately not everyone gets a happy ending. The book, like all others written by Hopkins, deals with very sensitive issues such as sexual abuse, mental illness, drug use, and depression. Tony, Vanessa and Connor felt like real people, and I quickly became invested in their stories: their triumphs, missteps and especially their falls. While I know they are made-up characters, I also know that Hopkins has worked with at-risk youth and struggled through her daughter’s heroin abuse (which she writes about in Crank). Meaning, I feel that the author knows what she’s talking about. By reading Impulse, I gained a glimpse into the pressures and dangers that can plague teenagers – even the ones who seem to have everything going for them. These kinds of books also remind me that, whatever I’m dealing with, someone else may have it worse and I need to be sensitive to whatever challenges they may be facing. Those challenges are not always obvious from the outside.

I recommend this book and others by Ellen Hopkins for anyone who likes gritty realistic fiction, especially stories of young people who face and overcome trauma or hardship. Since it’s told in three voices, I sometimes had to flip back a page or two to remind myself which character was doing the talking. But even with that, the book was riveting and hard to put down. You’ll be impressed by how quickly you get through the 600 pages.

Another of Hopkins’ books that I have read is Burned, the story of Pattyn, a teenage girl whose parents’ religious fanaticism leads to physical and emotional abuse. When she begins to rebel against their rigid beliefs, she is banished from the family. Luckily, the aunt she is sent to live with does not share her parents’ values. For the first time in her life, Pattyn has the freedom and confidence to explore her world, discovering her likes and dislikes and falling in love. She sees possibilities beyond the submissive marriage and motherhood that her parents believe in. Her escape is short-lived, however, when she is called to return home; efforts to hold onto the new life she has made end badly.

While this book feels less realistic to me, because religious fanaticism isn’t something I encounter regularly, I still found the story interesting and moving. I rooted for Pattyn, and of course raged over her father’s abusive and demeaning treatment of the women in his life.

Hopkins continued Pattyn’s story in a book called Smoke and wrote a sequel to Impulse, titled Perfect. If they are even half as captivating as the originals, then I expect more nights staying up reading until 2 am.

I’m ashamed to say that I have trouble keeping up with the news.  I try to get it online, but am too easily distracted by the endless procrastination possibilities that the Internet offers.  I may be deeply interested in an article about ebola, but soon I see an advertisement for an article on Jennifer Lawrence and I immediately switch off of the important article.  Then I may try to watch on television, but I become quickly frustrated with the newscasters’ squabbling and the frequent commercials.  But now, once a week, I am able to catch up on the world’s pressing news and have the opportunity to watch unique stories that examine serious problems in our country, all while laughing more than I would at any other late night program.  HBO’s Last Week Tonight with John Oliver never fails to both inform and entertain.

There have been other shows like this; the Colbert Report, or Late Night with Bill Maher.  However, John Oliver’s program approaches news differently than its competitors.  Unlike the Colbert Report, Last Week Tonight is on premium television.  This means that it gets its funding from its viewers, and not its sponsors.  This means that John Oliver has the ability to say whatever he wants about any company if it is relevant to the news.  Let’s just say that the CEO of CocaCola was involved in a major scandal.  A station sponsored by CocaCola would most likely release a biased statement about the incident in order to retain their funding.  This is not an issue for news broadcasted on premium channels.  Another HBO series, Late Night with Bill Maher, has been very successful for a number of years.  However, in HBO’s neighborhood, Bill Maher may have been the hot shot, but John Oliver is the new kid on the block getting more than his share of respect.  This is not just because he is the shiny new host, but because he is bringing something new to the table.  Instead of wasting time on biased rants and discussions with (non-relevant) celebrities, Oliver calls attention to stories that much of mainstream media does not cover, even though they could be detrimental to the well-being of others in our world.

Much like any news station, Oliver discusses subjects that can make one  go into a melancholic, pessimistic stupor.  However when I watch these episodes, I am not depressed but elated.  While providing us factual information on subjects like nuclear weaponry, the death penalty, ISIS, and human rights violations, Oliver does the impossible: he shows us something that we can laugh at.  This takes away the pessimism of the news because seeing the foolishness of a situation makes it become less of a monster and more of a relatable problem.  For example,  John Oliver did a piece on Syria’s tyrannical leader, Assad.  Here, he explained that Assad was never really into politics.  His true dream was to become an optometrist.  In fact, Oliver said, Assad went to a university in England to realize this dream.  As Assad was overseas studying his optometry textbooks, his brother (in line to rule) had passed away.  His mother, wanting one of her sons to rule, had nearly forced Assad out of school and back to Syria.  To the world’s dismay, he then took his brother’s place.  After learning all of this, I felt that Assad no longer appeared as an unconquerable threat, but as a nerd who is afraid of his mother.  Of course, this man’s rule and treatment of his people is still to be feared, but we are reminded that this is all he is: a man.

This is the way news should be done.  We need to be educated on a wide variety of topics.  We need to make sure that the interests of the sponsors are not warping the story.  But most of all we need to be able to laugh at the things troubling our world.  If not, we internalize more fear and inhibit our ability to rationally deal with these issues.  By laughing, we can remain hopeful.  Last Week Tonight embodies this.

Check Out Oliver’s Interview With Stephen Hawking:

So Mrs. McHugh wanted me to write another article for the paper and I was all like, “idk,” but then senior savage Isaac Bickford gave me the idea to tell people all about the Homecoming dance in the lingo of the 1950s. I responded to Isaac’s idea with, “That’s the stupidest best idea I’ve ever heard….let’s do it!” So if you’re curious as to if I’ve finally gone off the deep end, I have not. So here’s Homecoming, ‘50s style.

Hey you! Yes you! Do you often find yourself on the weekend devoid of a sock hop to attend? Does your gang of high school hellhounds need a place to chill cold? Ever wanted to spend an evening with a fine young honey? If so, well, I’ve got the solution for you, daddy-o! This Saturday night come to the Homecoming shakedown.

Now before you enter, you gotta know that if you have any silly juice in your system, you’re gonna have to hit the road, ace. Don’t get salty with me if you get kicked and thrown in the paddy wagon since you wanted a little underage fun.

Now, the tickets cost thirty big ones, so if you’re a bit skinny on cash, it’s time to save up your jukebox money. The dance is open to all ages of people from big daddys to little mamas so don’t feel like you’re too old or too young to have a jig. There are plenty of reasons to attend the dance such as the chow being served. Puccini’s will be catering the hop and I must say their food never fails to razz my berries. Disc jockey extraordinaire Molly Minnehan will be itching and scratching the latest records from Elvis, Fats Domino, and, if you’re feeling frisky, Ritchie Valens. With six songs in total, the gym will be a real hoppin’ joint. Remember, only the heartthrobs and tootses of HHS can attend the dance so if someone else from some other town tries to snake in, tell them to make like an egg and beat it.

Hey fellas, once you and your cool cats groove on down to the dance floor, be sure to ask a young dame to vibe with you. Don’t be a kook about it; if you think that young lady scorching the dance floor is pretty, buck up, tie your shoes real tight, make sure your pompadour is groomed, and ask that dame to shake it. Ladies, don’t be a two-cent floosie, save a dance for a real hunk, not some creep.

The dance will last until 9:30, so after that you can hop in a hot rod and goose out of there and back to your parents for a safe responsible evening. Keep in mind kiddos, this is for fun for everyone so don’t be a stick in the mud and ruin it.

Yeah, I just wrote that. You just read that. I feel bad too. Goodnight.

Remember Home Alone? That family friendly movie with the kooky kid and incompetent robbers? Yeah, that movie’s great. Now take Home Alone, and add blood. Lots of it. Now you have the 1½ hour long limb-losing bonanza called The Collection.

Now before I begin going into any more detail about the film, I must inform you that originally it was fellow news club extraordinaire Andrea Bilton and her friend Ally Knight, both juniors, who started watching it. But within the first 10 minutes, I was forced to turn it off by both of them. I believe some quotes from Andrea were, “WHY WOULD SOMEONE MAKE THIS??” and “I WANNA WATCH MY DISNEY!!”

Now that that’s off my chest, on with the review. The Collection, directed by Marcus Dunstan and released in 2012 (now On Demand), is a gore fest with a leather-masked serial killer known as The Collector. It’s a sequel to an equally bloody film The Collector. Our tough female heroine is Elena, who is invited out to a new unknown club by her friend. Elena begins to party completely responsibly until she sees her boyfriend making out with another woman. She pops him in the nose then her friend flips him off (#teamwork.) After entering the bathroom, Elena stumbles upon a large red trunk which is moving and yelling. Due to this being a horror movie, where characters always seem to do stupid things, she opens the box. Out comes Arkin, our beat-up protagonist from the first movie and a former captive of The Collector. The opening of this box sets off a series of gears and cogs wired around the club and have you ever wondered what steak would look like if you put in in a garbage disposal? Well that’s what you’re going to witness once this trap begins to hit the dance floor.

So after we can no longer find anybody in the club with bottles full of bub, Elena is captured by The Collector and brought to his “not” murder dungeon. Arkin is contracted by Elena’s father to help find Elena since he is the only man to ever escape the killer. Arkin and a team of highly trained mercenaries, otherwise known as the ones who are going to die in the movie, enter The Collector’s quaint two bedroom, half bath cottage. Just kidding the place is an abandoned motel with a murder hole! I’m serious; there’s just a hole with dead bodies that he disposed of in his lair. The movie really starts here so I’ll give you the Sparknotes so you can watch it yourself: impalement, razor net, spiked coffin, drugged-out zombie people with doll masks, fun with meat hooks, blood, rebreaking a compound fracture, blood, blood, explosions, slo-mo, blood.

So if crimson-soaked, escape action movies interest you, then watch The Collection before the Halloween season is over. But be warned, you’ll never look at steak the same way again.

PS. This movie is rated R, for mature audiences only. So legally, only the seniors can watch this.

What we fear can paralyze us, or provide good fuel for our friends to make fun of us. Either way, since this is Halloween season, I asked students and staff members what really freaks them out, and some of the answers were reasonable and others were just funny.

Senior Tyler Smith has a fear of small holes clustered together. I’m not kidding; I laughed in his face but the  fear is common enough among the general public that it has a name, trypophobia.

As to why Tyler is afraid of clusters of holes, I haven’t the slightest fraction of a clue. What I do know is that fear varies from person to person, which is fascinating. While many people I talked to, such as art teacher Mrs. Curley, junior Allison Camillo and about half the population of the earth (including me), confessed an aversion to spiders, others had an oddly specific fear such as a fear of being rejected by Steve Carell. This is Mrs. Fay’s actual fear. The English teacher wakes up screaming in the night from this.

Fear can be brought forth from childhood trauma or overexposure to a certain thing. It’s entirely dependent on the person.  Ms. Della Croce, the PE teacher, is actually afraid of dying in a plane crash. “I wouldn’t want to know if I was going to die,” she said. “I would just want the plane to crash ‘cause if I knew, I would be scared.”

Ms. D is suffering from agoraphobia, or the fear of being trapped in a place from which she can’t escape.

I managed to get a word with junior Dan McDougall, whose fear is sharks. When I asked Dan why he’s afraid of the animal, he responded with, “I don’t know. They’re just scary.” Wow, such prolific words.

Fears can be both rational and irrational. A rational fear would be junior Courtney Ceurvels, who was feasted upon by ticks . . . so she obviously hates ticks. An irrational fear would be from junior Kylie Chetwynde, who claims to be afraid of jeans. I didn’t ask why; I just moved on with my day.

Some people have no time for fears. “You shouldn’t be afraid of something,” said junior Erin Thornton. “That’s messed up.”

Plenty of people are afraid of plenty of things. Librarian Mrs. McHugh fears nothing more than crickets in her library. The scars from last year’s senior prank have not healed and I wonder if they truly ever will.

It’s important to realize, however, that being afraid of something isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Conquering a fear can be a very rewarding experience and it helps you grow as a person. Really, no matter what you’re afraid of . . . I’ll always be scarier.

Remember that when you go to bed later 🙂

This winter at Hanover High School, we will be lucky enough to showcase a production of Romeo and Juliet. Although we have always had such talented student actors and actresses, this year will be extra special due to our brand new play director and drama teacher, Mr. Jacob Plummer. Being one of Jake’s students myself, I can only imagine how much effort and dedication he is putting into this production to make it the best it can be.

“He’s awesome,” says sophomore Macy Hohenleitner (Lady Montague). “We’re only about two weeks into rehearsal but I couldn’t be happier with how it is going.”

Another actor, Isaac Bickford (Tybalt), reports that Jake has been doing a fantastic job, leaving him with no complaints.

“I love his artistic design, he’s a great guy,” reports sophomore Anna Harper (Juliet).

“You have no idea how great Mr. Plummer is,” says Sean Meehan  (ensemble). Sean may be right; although we can truly see for sure how talented and awesome the cast and Mr. Plummer is, when we go to see this seemingly wonderful play.

Romeo and Juliet was a great choice for HHS because everybody reads the play during freshman year. Therefore, everybody knows the story and the characters. This will ensure that the audience will remain hooked during their favorite scenes and parts. This year’s production is much bigger than last year’s, because this year they have an ensemble, which allowed many more students to make the cast list, rather than get cut from the entire production. Some former cast members from last year’s production of “You Can’t Take it With You” are Macy Hohenleitner, Katie Scott, Sean Meehan and Lindsay Glover. All four students say that the cast is much bigger this year, allowing them to make all sorts of new friends, many of them freshmen.

“We have so many wonderful new people this year, and they’re all doing such a great job,” says Katie(Benvolio). Lindsay Glover (Lady Capulet), being a busy senior, agrees with Katie and is elated with how everything is going. She loves being a part of this new experience regardless of how it compares to last year.

On the other hand, there are many freshmen and newcomers to theater who are just as excited about this production. Sophia Ruggiano (ensemble) agreed with the other cast members that everybody fits into their role perfectly, and she also said how great it was to join the  cast in her first year.

David Adams (Romeo) may be a freshman, but he’s sure not brand new to this. David has had minor roles in other plays but has never received a lead role. However, David truly enjoys this production so far, and loves everybody in it.

Mrs. Turner, a freshman English teacher, is beyond excited for the play. “I’m very excited to see Jake’s rendition of it, and I think it is going to be absolutely fabulous.”

(Fun Fact: Mrs. Turner was Jake Plummer’s English teacher for his freshman year and she had taught him the lesson of Romeo and Juliet. According to Turner, he seemed to really enjoy it as a student, and obviously he still enjoys it today.)

Anna Harper(Juliet) believes that everybody was given the part that truly suited them and complimented their personality. “Before this production I have had experience performing in local theaters, but I did not at ALL expect to be receiving the role of Juliet.” says Anna. When asked, Anna and David both agreed that there was no true chemistry behind the scenes of their characters. Oh well!

Cast: “If you were asked to describe this production to somebody who was considering whether or not to see it, what three words would you say to them?”

Max Meallo (Lord Capulet): “energetic, entertaining, fiery”

Lindsay Glover (Lady Capulet): “Shakespeare with swag”

Anna Harper (Juliet): “tragedies, relationships, fun”

Isaac Bickford (Tybalt): “historic, funny, entertaining”

Alexander Linn (Peter): “A. Fun. Experience.”

Macy Hohenleitner (Lady Montague): “crazy, exciting, awesome”

David Adams (Romeo): “fun, amazing, death”

Katie Scott (Benvolio): “busy, exciting, wonderful”

Dante Nicotera (Friar Laurence): “satirical, humorous, tragic”

Vanessa Gallo (Ensemble): “great, social, experience”

Audrey Lloyd (Ensemble): “educational, dramatic, funny”

Sophia Ruggiano (Ensemble): “outstanding, exciting, awesome”

Sean Meehan (Ensemble/understudy Lord Montague): “more Shakespearean, interesting”

Mrs. Turner (Freshman English Teacher): “Tragedy, love, loss”

If you’re as excited for this play as the cast is, stay tuned! It’s coming to the Hanover High School Auditorium this December! Get ready to laugh, cry, smile, frown, and jump out of your seats at this comedic tragedy! Wanna know more? Ask Jacob Plummer or any of the above named cast members! 🙂

Other cast members not named above: Hayley Ardizzoni, Ricky Dahlstrom, Dillon Russel, Cameron Mccauley, Coleman Hernon, Madison Fitzpatrick, Zack McArthur, Eric Carey, Julia Goslin, Bruno Barbuto, Emily Bartone, Maddy Carol, Jill Drummy, Kayla Maslow, Lauren Murray, and Emily Sweeney.

On October 6, at 7pm, a nearly-week long marathon of The Walking Dead began with the pilot episode of the series; Episode 1, Season 1. It was gearing up viewers for the premiere of Season 5. On Sunday, October 12, we began the new season and new beginnings for many.

From the get-go of the episode, there is anxiety as we see gore and horror in the brutal murders by the cannibalistic leaders of the death-zone Terminus. We see a carefully crafted escape from Terminus by the core group with help from a former ally, none other than Carol. Carol’s presence has been felt since the beginning of the series, and through her secret assistance to the group, loyalty, and bravery despite being exiled last season for killing sick members of the group, we can feel a true sense of her care for them. According to Yahoo and Forbes magazines reports on the episode, they also believe that Carol’s act of bravery and defiance to help her friends and companions is her way of redeeming herself to them. Despite her evident mistakes, Carol still has goodness instilled in her.

For viewers who were Carol fans all along, it appears that they “were lovers of Carol before it was cool,” upon her crossing serious boundaries to save the group in the premiere. Forbes article called what Carol did a “refreshing” act by a character, and during the premiere it wasn’t surprising to see jaws drop as Carol smeared herself in walker blood and guts, set off an explosion inside Terminus, and sauntered through flames to help her friends. During a scene of violence, action, and high-anxiety, this could almost be interpreted as a heart-warming moment to see her act of bravery for her group. After the escape of Terminus, we see the reunion between Carol and Daryl, which truly makes one smile, as well as Rick accept her with open arms. Here we understand that what Carol did may have been out of her own want to assist them, but it did indeed redeem herself in the their eyes as well. We see a passionate reunion between family as well with Rick, Judith, and Carl. In addition to Carol’s act of bravery, we also see such from Tyreese as he acts on behalf of Judith and puts up quite the fight when he is sentenced outside among the walkers with no form of defense. The episode has a lot of familial and friendship reunions and brings most of the group back together (except for Beth, whose whereabouts are still a mystery), pleasing a lot of fans who enjoy that aspect of the show; on the contrary we also see a good amount of action and violence to satisfy that part of the show as well.

By the end, although, not all questions are answered. Where is Beth? What is happening in the cattle car at the end of the episode? Could Beth possibly be in there? What truly will happen or may have happened to the leaders of Terminus? Will we see them again? Those are the questions we anticipate to be answered as the season rolls on, of course.